that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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