apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
