it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
