Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
did i walk over a car last night?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
