Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
