Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
