the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
