:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
