I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
