4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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