Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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