so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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