Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
whose ass print is on the piano?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
