i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
