Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
