I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
