Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
