His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
