Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
