if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
