Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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