i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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