Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
