why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
