is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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