just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
