I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
