those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
