i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize