bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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