dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
third nipple confirmed
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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