I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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