upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
