i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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