So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
im holly from the hills drunk
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
