no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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