Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize