Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
