Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize