The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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