That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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