Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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