Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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