She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
