somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
