Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
