I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
