New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
