ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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