big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
