he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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