I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
