Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
