Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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