life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
