This is not my ceiling
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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