just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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