don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize