i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
