Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
