So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
