it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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