our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
