he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
