I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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