Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
