Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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