If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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