I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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